So worried

I'm worried about a blogger I've followed since November. After quickly reviewing the first 11 months of her blog I have looked forward to reading 3-4 entries a week. She sometimes talks about the past but mostly about how she's been coping since her diagnosis. She has MND (Motor Neuron Disease), the cruel beast of all diseases. Her blog has remained idle for 13 days. The blog has sat idle before when she had a respiratory infection and when she got the supra-pubic catheter but never this long. It seems ridiculous to worry about a complete stranger across the big pond but I do.

Months ago when I came across her blog I noticed she looked into Dignitas when she was diagnosed with MND. She did consider ending her life but wasn't ready to go at that time. The thing about foreigners visiting Dignitas is if a person wants to use the services they have to drink the barbiturate (Nembutal) themselves. By time someone is "ready" to visit Dignitas they are no longer able to swallow the barbiturate or make the trip. A lot choose to go earlier in order to protect their family from prosecution.

I did find out about a suicide that the barbiturates was given through the PEG tube, he couldn't swallow. His suicide happened before the Swiss government changed the law, he had MND. Now the person wishing to "check out" is videotaped drinking the barbiturates (Nembutal) to show the police it was an actual suicide not forced. The person is asked multiple times on the video if this is what they want . The video is meant to show the person chose to follow through on their own free will and that the barbiturates was not administered by another person.

I don't think this blogger ended her life. She may be sick, in a hospice, hospital or care facility.

I fear she has lost her last bit of freedom and independence. Is she in a Hospice or a Care Home now? She did have carers at night and some carers during the day. The NIH paid for staffing but a couple weeks ago her night carer failed to show and she was alone all night. Not a good situation for someone not able to care for herself. She lost the ability to stand or transfer herself weeks ago from the wheelchair to bed. And vice versa. Or wheel chair to lift chair. She was forced to sit in her wheelchair all night when the Aide failed to show. 

I figured months ago the blog would sit permanently idle at some point and there will always be an uncertainty whether or not she passed away.  Maybe she will turn up online again?  I may never know.