You go in as you were and come out in an Urn-- Dignitas

I used a quote from the program "Choosing To Die" as the title of this entry. The program was hosted by Sir Terry Pratchett and he was discussing Assisted Suicide with 3 gentlemen who considered visiting Dignitas.

Sir Terry Pratchett was saying things didn't seem right. And then he said..."You go in as you were and come out in an urn."

Terry was talking to Peter Smedley and Peter's wife about Dignitas. Peter had been diagnosed with Motor Neuron Disease and felt he would need to go soon or he wouldn't be able to.

But he decided he would wait until he was in Switzerland before choosing whether or not to seek assisted Suicide. By waiting to make the decision he protected his wife from prosecution in the UK.

If he chose to wait to visit Dignitas he might have been unable to travel or his breathing and swallowing might have been affected, which would of made assisted Suicide impossible.  Peter chose to go ahead and end his life at the Blue Oasis , 20 miles from Zurich. If Peter could of died at home, he might have decided to wait longer. He could have enjoyed his life longer with his family. Suicide is legal in the UK but assisted Suicide is not. Those assisting a suicide is subject to 14 years imprisonment.

He was afraid to wait because MND is so unpredictable but the end result is the same. Some progress faster in the matter of months. Others might take years. Drs and Neurologists can't predict which muscles will go first and when breathing is affected. When the ability to swallow is gone is another uncertainty.

In order to have assisted Suicide from Dignitas you must be able to communicate your wish to end your life and drink the Nembutal yourself.

So sometimes people are forced to go sooner than needed.

Dignitas and Dignity in Dying

Switzerland is the only country in the world that allows foreigners to come and have assisted suicide. There is a couple organizations that assists foreigners but Dignitas is the most used. Dignitas was founded in 1998 by the Human Rights lawyer Ludwig Minneli. Since then over a 1000 people have come to Dignitas to end their lives, 60% of those seeking help are German.

One thing that makes me question Dignitas is the fact they claim to be Not For Profit  but charge a considerable amount of money for their services.

The cost is approximately $5263.16 for their services and if Dignitas arranges the cremation or transportation of the body back to the person's country the cost is $9210. The fees paid cover medical cost, official cost and cremation.

I can understand the fees being so high if the body was being transported back home but most choose cremation and disposal of the cremated remains in Zurich. In the USA being cremated is considerably less. In the UK the cost of cremation is comparable to the USA.

So what is the real cost? And if they were actually Not for Profit, why was Ludwig Minnelli refusing to share Dignitas financial records?

The Guides that assist with the suicides are unpaid volunteers. The actual drug, Nembutal, is not expensive. There generally aren't funeral cost other than cremation.  Administration Cost?

I'm not saying getting help is wrong to end suffering. I'm just sick that someone is profiting from this. What's the price of a human life?

I'm reminded how precious life is

Life is precious, a gift from a higher being. God gives life, guides our choices and calls us home. Every life has a purpose but God allows us to live our life. By living our lives sometimes we make conscientious choices and sometimes not. With religious teaching we are taught right from wrong. To trust in God, which I do. To pray for guidance and peace.

When faced with illness we try to prolong life but what if the illness is unbearable? And your given two choices? You can continue the current treatment and deteriorate further or refuse further treatment.  By refusing you might be hastening your death.

After a long fight nobody judges if someone refuses further treatment but when they choose to just end it all at once we denounce and judge?

I'm reminded of....

After reading the entries yesterday, I was reminded of a dear man that resided briefly in the nursing home I worked at. H did not require 24 hr care, other than needing help with his socks, he was pretty much independent.

During H's time with us assisted living facilities did not exist in our area which would of been a better choice for H .Once you reached a certain age or had health issues a Nursing Home was an option ,the only option other than remaining at home. Since he didn't have kids and had never been married, he came to live at the nursing home instead of being alone.

He did have an older brother, & a nephew living in the community. He also had a sister-in-law that lived at the Nursing home. B had the later stage of Alzheimer's disease. I think seeing B on a daily basis played a big part in his decision to commit suicide.

A wave of sadness washes over me when I think of H. Don't get me wrong for a long time I was angry with him. He was a man that we all admired but yet he took a coward's way out by committing suicide. Or so I thought at the time.

To go to eat, visit the nurses station or to take a shower, H had to pass by B's room. I remember seeing him stop in her doorway and staring for a minute or two.  He did this several times a day and would not go in the room!

Was he remembering her when she was healthy or did he see his own future? Nobody would ever know. Perhaps seeing other residents in wheelchairs and with various levels of disabilities scared him.

Did he feel or notice small changes in himself that made him fear the future? Nobody will ever know.  To all of us he was a happy man, until that day. He always had someone stopping by.

Unlike some of our residents H had friends. He had a large circle of friends that would visit often or take him out for the day.

Sometimes he would just visit his house to enjoy the solitude for a few hours, before going back to the Nursing Home. Normally when he was going out he would tell the nurse and let the rest of us know so we wouldn't worry..

His last trip to his home he blew his brains out....I'm no longer angry with him because I don't know what he was going through mentally and physically. He made a decision which was his to make certainly not anyone else's.

Sadness, is this the end

For months I been a quiet observer to several different blogs and blog subjects. Sometimes coming out of my comfort zone to comment, most of the time reading quietly without saying a word. On some issues I been brutally honest and very opinionated. But on other things I stay quiet.

I was surprised today when I read a couple blogs I follow on a regular basis mentioned "suicide".  One has progressed far enough long travel or obtaining the medication is no longer an option by themselves. The other has the needed drugs to end it.

I know one day that the blogs will become idle or just disappear, when they die. Will it be by their own hand or complications from MND/ALS ? I don't know!  Maybe they will plateau for awhile and that might encourage them to hang on.Or the diseases will progress to the point communication becomes impossible, thus leaving the blog idle.

I quietly read the blogs today and closed the pages refusing to encourage or discourage either by my comments. Unless someone is in a similar situation or see a loved one suffer on a day to day basis, we will never understand the devastation of the disease.

These aren't uneducated , uninformed or lazy people. Until their bodies started to fail their lives were busy with work , family and activities. Their lives were full. Slowly their independence and dignity is being stripped away by a cruel disease that has no real treatment options and no cure. Their future is bleak and frightening.

RIP

Today my Uncle Ronnie lost his fight with cancer. He's in a better place as the suffering is over. No more pain and discomfort. He's with his sisters Ella, Betty and Janice. His brother Bill. He's with his parents and son.

Sadness

When I originally started this blog, I wanted to discuss physician assisted suicide. I think it should be more readily available in certain circumstances and it should be their decision not the family or government.

I do not think it should be available to those who are not terminally ill.

When the quality of life becomes non-existing and each minute is unbearable why not?  When each moment spent is excruciating why not? If an animal was suffering we euthanize if we choose not to we are called cruel and inhumane. But It's okay for humans to suffer?

Could I make this decision for myself or a loved one? I don't know. My condition is not terminal but I do have considerable pain. My pain is controlled with medication. And because of my belief in God termination of my own life is not an option.  But I see and have seen the end of life because of terminal illness.

Because I have seen many illnesses run their course I think those suffering should have a choice.

If you read my last post then you know I have a loved one with a terminal illness. Uncle R has liver cancer, his kidneys have shut down . He is suffering but is being medicated to ease him. He was moved to a hospice on Monday, he was only given a couple days. I have asked God daily to take him home. He's still hanging on. I pray the medicine keeps him comfortable until his spirit leaves his body.

May God lay his loving hands on our family during this time of grief.

Act of Mercy.

Seems strange I'm posting this so soon after my post of my friend becoming a widow.

Tonight I will pray the lord will show Mercy to my uncle and take him home. He is dying and his next minutes/hours will be the last he will ever have.

He has terminal liver cancer and his organs are shutting down, the kidneys have stopped functioning. He has dementia from the pain and knows nobody.

I pray that his last moments are peaceful and merciful. God bless my Uncle. He will be with my mom and his brother soon, his son and parents.

3 things certain in life

There is 3 things certain in life . We are born, we live and everyone is going to die.

How we live life is completely up to us. Live life and each day to the fullest because you don't know what tomorrow will bring. Live, love and share the joy in life with someone as each day is a gift.

Sorry I been quiet

I want to apologize on here. One of my online friends recently became a widow. Her husband has fought cancer for years, including colon cancer and brain cancer. Think he was recently moved to hospice care and died within days.

She knew it was coming but not like this not so soon. My heart breaks for her losing her husband, 2 days before her birthday. She's 44 today, he was 49..

I posted condolences to her but see no joy is wishing her happiness today. They recently celebrated 18 years of marriage. The day before her birthday she arranged his memorial service and arranged to have him cremated.

In a way her life parallels my own. I married my husband  over 21 years ago, it will be 22 years in July. I was 20, he was 27. He has a child from his first marriage, we have none only our 2 dogs and a cat. T has 3 cats no kids.

I knew before I got married children was not an option. Because of C I'm a grandmother of N. I helped raise my nieces and a nephew. So I'm close to them and their kids.

She's alone now....

Advanced Directives

In the United States if you don't live in the 3 states that has the Death with Dignity law and can't afford to travel overseas or are in no condition to travel set up a living will. An advanced directive can be an invaluable tool along with appointing a trusted medical power of attorney to carry out your wishes.

If you're not American check on your country's law in regards to your rights to refuse treatments.  And don't wait until your older or sick, do it now. Look at the Terri Shiavo case. She went into cardiac arrest in 1990 and remained in a persistent vegetative state until she died in 2005 after her feeding tube was discontinued. Her husband was appointed her Power of Attorney in 1990 and petitioned the court in 1998 to discontinue the feeding tube.

Terri Schiavo's case was long and drawn out. Her parents fought hard to keep her on the feeding tube as she did respond to her mom's voice on occasion. Terri' s husband claimed allowing her to remain on a feeding tube went against her wishes therefore she should be removed. It went back and forth in the court system and religious leaders got involved claiming it was euthanasia to remove Terri from the artificial feedings. In the end she was removed. Since Terri didn't have an advanced directive, her husband had the right to decide. She was 41 years old when she passed away.

Having a Living Will allows you to have a choice and your Advanced Directives can be changed.  You should review it every 1-2 years and update it whenever changes seem necessary. It's easier to say no to procedures than it is to discontinue treatment once it starts. Be proactive with your medical care and once you decide, let your family know your wishes.  And appoint a Medical Power of Attorney to make sure your wishes are followed just incase you can't communicate your wishes.

For example, I never want put on a ventilator or have a Trach. If I go into cardiac arrest I choose not to be resuscitated. I would consider tube feeding if a chance of recovery is possible. These are the sort of things that goes in an advanced Directive. Discuss it with your Dr , and he/she can advise you of how to make your wishes known.

You do have a choice.

Financial suicide.....family support

One of the things I notice when I follow other blogs is the financial aspects of terminal illness. I have read 3 blogs where committing suicide is mentioned.

One onsidered ending his own life out of fear of bankrupting his family , of seeing everything he worked for being sold to help with the cost of his care. Let's face it some illnesses are not cheap and most government health plans require the person to exhaust their own finances before the plan kicks in.  Medicaid is like that in the United States especially for long term care in a Nursing Home.

The other 2 blogs spoke of fear of dying alone or depending on others for care. I know what It's like asking others for help. After my back surgery I was 90% dependent on my husband and family. I couldn't shower , dress myself, walk by myself, get out of bed or take myself to the bathroom. I knew to be patient because I would get better. It was so hard asking for help and relying on others for care, especially needing help to the bathroom. The hardest part of it for me is I used to be the care giver, now I was the patient. With therapy I got better. I was fortunate I had good family support. So many people out there don't have that.

In Craig Ewert's case he didn't want to suffer and cause his family to suffer during the duration of his illness. He didn't want to burden his family anymore than he felt he already had. I truly believe he felt he had no choice but he loved life just the same. He was scared to make the journey to Dignitas but he knew the reality of his diagnosis which scared him worse. Thankfully his wife wasn't held responsible for helping him go to Switzerland.